Thank you for taking time to respond and for showing concern to a lot of women who sharing my opinion. On my personal encounter, when I negotiated to wait, my man assured me that he understands where I am coming from and that I deserve to take care of myself and decide on my own when to engage in it. I figured there are still lots of great men these days who also do a version of their waiting: waiting for their special someone to love them, want them and also desire them. I believe great men love sex, for beyond pleasures it brings, it breaks barriers and serves as one of their languages to communicate what they can not put into words.

Mikko, you must be one of them too.

Thanks for your great question. I think you might have already read some of my views regarding your question on my other article:”Do Men Just Want Sex?“The walk may indeed sometimes seem formidable , and to make it easier this is what I would advice.

First of all, realize that if your man is genuinely interested and attracted to you sometimes he might want the occasion to special just as much as you would. Some men actually, ironically, may also feel pressure to perform sexually and may sometimes even be happily relieved that you want to wait so both of you can get more comfortable and get to know each other first.

Secondly, as I shortly explained in the article, as long as you clearly convey to him that he is making you happy and you really enjoy spending time with him, it is safe to say no to his advances as long as you do it in away that does not make him feel wrong for wanting to have sex. In other words, when he is making moves to go all the way, you can simply say something like: “Hey Peter, I am really having fun and I am beginning to like you more and more and I would just like to take it slowly, would you mind if we waited until we go all the way?” If he says that he does not want to wait, for example: “No, I would really like to go all of the way, I just find you so attractive, I can’t help my-self”. At this point, if you know that you want to wait, it is important that you simply repeat what you want, for example: “I know you want it, I don’t blame you , part of me would really want to too, but I really just want to wait, I just need some more time”. This is just one example of a conversation, and sometimes you might want to also take a firmer approach depending on the situation.

But the general idea that I wanted to convey in this example is that as long as you communicate that you are having a fun time with him and feel attraction toward him and don’t make him feel wrong for wanting to have sex, if he is genuinely interested and attracted to you he should not leave you just because you want more time before having sex. And if he did leave you, that is a good sign that sex was probably all he was after anyway, and so if you were looking for a more serious relationship, it was probably good that you found that out early.

Furthermore, waiting for the passion and attraction to grow in this way will often only make the foundation for your relationship stronger and be a win-win situation for both of you. Good luck to you and thanks again for your great question!

I have a follow-up query for this post: I believe that the ladies are equally looking forward to one day sharing complete intimacy with a man whom they find sincerely special. However, they face a formidable walk in the tightrope – between (1)waiting to have sex until they become comfortable enough to believe he won’t perform the vanishing act afterwards & (2)waiting so long that he mistakenly assumes that the woman simply has no special attraction and chemistry towards him?

How should women convey their geniune interest to a man and at the same time politely ask some time before getting physical? Seeing someone special to us and spending time with them is truly a wonderful experience. And personally, I believe men wanting sex is equally valid and important. It is among their profound instruments to bond and feel love. But how can one tell that he is more that just fun to be with and deserving of a cookie?

Thank you in advance & more power!