Why Some Guys Become “Players” And Why Women Are Often Attracted To Them…
I may be called a “player hater” after you have read this article,☺ but even if you are a “player,” you can actually benefit from this post by learning to understand more about women and what it is that sometimes makes them attracted to you.
If you are a guy and have never been a player or intended to become one, you will learn how to apply some of the wisdom of why women are attracted to players in your own life. If you are a woman reading this, you may also learn – as the title states – why guys often become players and why women such as you may be attracted to them.
Before we start, let’s just make sure we all know what a “player” is. What comes to mind first is a smooth, confident, and good looking guy, maybe a basketball player, a rap star, or another successful athlete or artist, who goes around womanizing without wanting to have a committed relationship. Sounds right? If you have ever seen the movie “How To Be a Player” with Bill Bellamy, you know exactly what I am talking about.☺
If you have not seen the movie, just keep on reading. Let’s explore why some guys become players. First of all, the truth is, as I have discussed in my article “Do Men Just Want Sex? Should My Decision Be To Wait Or Not To Wait?” that men generally get attracted to women physically first. What this means is that we guys get attracted to body parts or physical features. That may be something about her eyes, or breasts, or legs, or hair, etc.
Often this depends on a personal preference, but this also largely depends on what society considers attractive. As we are growing up, when we are 16 or 17, even a naked mannequin in a store may cause arousal. There is nothing weird or abnormal about that. Men simply develop a physical attraction first.
However, as men mature, we learn to realize that we may want more than just something physical. With maturity, men gradually learn to enjoy, develop, and cultivate mental, emotional, and spiritual attraction as well.
Mental attraction develops when a guy realizes that he is also interested in a woman as a friend or that he likes the way she thinks and appreciates who she is. Emotional attraction develops when men start to care for a woman’s feelings and for her well- being. Men eventually recognize that making her happy is what makes him the happiest. And finally, when men feel like they have a higher purpose in life, that their purpose in this world is to make a commitment and share life with a particular woman, that is when they will feel chemistry on many different levels: on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
But for men to get to that point doesn’t happen overnight. Our brains are not even fully developed until after age 28. This is time when we have potentially finally figured out who we really are and realize that other people’s negative opinions need not define us. Having taken the time to mature, we are now free and confident to pursue our own destiny.
But what happens to a lot of men is that unless they are around proper mentors, peer groups, or family support systems, it is much harder to mature in a healthy way. Many men are stuck simply pursuing women based only on their physical attraction. And of those men, the ones that are often successful or otherwise attractive tend to then become the players. Unfortunately, these men may not even understand what they are missing in their lives.
While there are millions of women to whom we can feel physical attraction, there are only maybe hundreds of thousands with whom we can also feel mental chemistry; and out of those women, maybe only tens of thousands with whom we feel physical, mental, and emotional chemistry.
Finally, out of those women with whom we connect on all three levels, there are maybe one thousand potential soul mates from which, if we have fully matured, our soul can recognize as the right one with whom we want to share our lives. My numbers may be off, but I am sure you get my point.☺
What happens to many men is that, particularly if they have not had a strong role model who demonstrated how a man can successfully make his wife happy, many men simply don’t have the confidence to risk even trying to make a woman happy. Furthermore, the more uncaring or unsupportive the growing-up environment has been for these men, the more they may carry insecurities and inadequacies within them.
In this situation, even before entering into a relationship, a man may wrongly believe that he does not have what it takes to make a woman happy. So he thinks to himself, why bother. This attitude may also easily convert to selfishness. When a guy does not understand his capacity to contribute to the lives of others, he may start to care only about himself. If he feels insecure about how he can contribute to the world, he tries to prove to his manhood in other ways, i.e., by becoming a player.
While this often feels like fun and is exciting in the beginning, and surely much safer than risking commitment, this player’s life very soon becomes empty and void of meaning.
So, why are women often attracted to players? As I explained in my article “Why Women Are Often Attracted To Bad Guys,” when men do not care or consider the feelings of others, it is very easy for them to appear confident. Furthermore, since players are often rotating more than one woman at the same time, it is very easy for them not to appear needy. This is a trap many nice and caring guys often fall into, as I explained in my article: “The Real Reason Women Are Often Not Attracted To Nice Guys.”
So, with good looks, apparent confidence, and self-sufficiency, it becomes very easy to see why women are attracted to players. Furthermore, since players do not really care about the feelings of their conquests, it is very easy for them to suggest new and exciting things to do. This can be very attractive to women. However, relationships that are not built on honesty and commitment to loving others and being loved, simply do not last.
So, if you are a player, realize that while pursuing women only based on a physical attraction may be fun and exciting, once you become open to liking someone mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, you will have a whole new world open up to you. It will be like eating in a five-star restaurant for the first time, having only eaten in fast food joints before. Your life will have so much more meaning and you will feel so much better about yourself.
However, if you are not a player, we can all still learn a lesson from them. Again it is confident, purposeful, responsible men that women are attracted to. By demonstrating these qualities and by planning some fun dates, you can suddenly become very attractive to women, and you don’t need to become a “player” to do that.
Have you ever been a player or dated one? Why do you think men become players and why some women are attracted to them?
Popularity: 100% [?]
