Comments on: Why Some Guys Become “Players” And Why Women Are Often Attracted To Them… http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/ Dating Coach Mikko Kemppe Shares His Own Dating Experiences And Gives Dating And Relationship Advice And Tips Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:21:43 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Errol Yamat http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-949 Errol Yamat Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:21:43 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-949 I have had the aids virus for over 20 years (these new wonder drugs do help extend our lives), and because I'm a player the women don't seem to care due to the fact we have safe sex. I have had the aids virus for over 20 years (these new wonder drugs do help extend our lives), and because I'm a player the women don't seem to care due to the fact we have safe sex.

]]> By: guest #2 http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-946 guest #2 Tue, 23 Aug 2011 02:07:55 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-946 I have to agree with guest--you don't there is wrong with some-one who has to juggle chicks on the side while trying to make it work with some-one you are "emotionally" attached to?  Buddy get a clue, there is a reason you are a player. I have to agree with guest–you don't there is wrong with some-one who has to juggle chicks on the side while trying to make it work with some-one you are “emotionally” attached to?  Buddy get a clue, there is a reason you are a player.

]]> By: guest http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-944 guest Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:31:09 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-944 why r u reading this and trying to defend yourself if your a self confident, grown MAN? just putting that out there...lol why r u reading this and trying to defend yourself if your a self confident, grown MAN? just putting that out there…lol

]]> By: guest http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-943 guest Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:25:49 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-943 excuse you. how old are you? five? maybe the reason our society is so screwed up is because there are idiots out there making one sided comments when they don't know what the hell they are talking about...btw Im sure there are many things screwing up society more than divorce. im sorry dude, but seriously read a book. excuse you. how old are you? five? maybe the reason our society is so screwed up is because there are idiots out there making one sided comments when they don't know what the hell they are talking about…btw Im sure there are many things screwing up society more than divorce. im sorry dude, but seriously read a book.

]]> By: Malisa Giblin Kroberger http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-934 Malisa Giblin Kroberger Tue, 26 Jul 2011 03:53:10 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-934 That's sad, but I can see how it can be true. I was seeing a player, he kept pulling away...I realize now because I help back sex. When I was finally going to cave in to something physical he came clean that he is sleeping with multiple women, and couldn't do that to me. That he was going to use me for sex. He felt guilty, and said he's never felt guilty! In my gut I sensed something with up given his lack of availability, but he talked a good game. <br><br>Like Taylor2gg, and given the guy I dated's statements of "I'm a freak. I'm out of control. I'm a nympho, etc" he doesn't seem to be liking himself much right now. I told him that children often mimic the behaviours of their parents, and does he want his son to be like this, and he said emphatically no! His parents were terrible. He told me once he didn't even cry at his own mother's funeral....but he does love his son, and he cried all day when he put his dog down, and I know a fairly recent ex girlfriend cheated on him a few times. I think he's a little damaged, and am trying to not take it personal (except I should have personally saw the signs!). <br><br>Women become damaged too, but we tend to talk things out and seek help from friends, family and therapy. So we can often times recover sooner. If men would talk these things out with their friends (I know it's not their make up), and get therapy they might have that experience of steak at a five star restaurant. IMHO That's sad, but I can see how it can be true. I was seeing a player, he kept pulling away…I realize now because I help back sex. When I was finally going to cave in to something physical he came clean that he is sleeping with multiple women, and couldn't do that to me. That he was going to use me for sex. He felt guilty, and said he's never felt guilty! In my gut I sensed something with up given his lack of availability, but he talked a good game.

Like Taylor2gg, and given the guy I dated's statements of “I'm a freak. I'm out of control. I'm a nympho, etc” he doesn't seem to be liking himself much right now. I told him that children often mimic the behaviours of their parents, and does he want his son to be like this, and he said emphatically no! His parents were terrible. He told me once he didn't even cry at his own mother's funeral….but he does love his son, and he cried all day when he put his dog down, and I know a fairly recent ex girlfriend cheated on him a few times. I think he's a little damaged, and am trying to not take it personal (except I should have personally saw the signs!).

Women become damaged too, but we tend to talk things out and seek help from friends, family and therapy. So we can often times recover sooner. If men would talk these things out with their friends (I know it's not their make up), and get therapy they might have that experience of steak at a five star restaurant. IMHO

]]> By: Jumpman2222 http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-928 Jumpman2222 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 18:03:46 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-928 Re: Former player<br><br>The thing about having a relationship is that love fades and women become bitchy and dont appreciate things as much  and take you for granted. Women expect more and more and are never happy. Having emotional connections with sex is the best. I agree with former player because I was in love with my ex girlfriend for 3 years and I was constantly fighting and arguing which is against my nature. Slowly my life was full of drama and I cheated on her several times because I found that I was never enough for her but amazing for other women. A lot of other women are non chalant about sexual relationships as well but men always get lableled ... not women. Its always the mans fault.. I finally cut it off my relationship even though I still loved her because it was being unfair for buth of us. Our emotional connection I beleive I can always revive cause makinng her happy is what made me happiest. Keeping her happy was an unbearable feat because she was extremely needy and beyond normal levels and she was very jealous. I still love her ad unfortunately cant fully move on entirely because all these other girls are different and the connection fades faily quick. Re: Former player

The thing about having a relationship is that love fades and women become bitchy and dont appreciate things as much  and take you for granted. Women expect more and more and are never happy. Having emotional connections with sex is the best. I agree with former player because I was in love with my ex girlfriend for 3 years and I was constantly fighting and arguing which is against my nature. Slowly my life was full of drama and I cheated on her several times because I found that I was never enough for her but amazing for other women. A lot of other women are non chalant about sexual relationships as well but men always get lableled … not women. Its always the mans fault.. I finally cut it off my relationship even though I still loved her because it was being unfair for buth of us. Our emotional connection I beleive I can always revive cause makinng her happy is what made me happiest. Keeping her happy was an unbearable feat because she was extremely needy and beyond normal levels and she was very jealous. I still love her ad unfortunately cant fully move on entirely because all these other girls are different and the connection fades faily quick.

]]> By: Former Player http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-922 Former Player Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:13:21 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-922 Former Player:  I think you are complicating the thought process of some of us… In my case, I became a player due to an on-going relationship that was constantly failing. So much drama b/w my lady and me, led me to add 1 to 4 other ladies into my life at any given time (while always on the look out for new ones that could trump the weaker links)… With most of them it would just be physical. Others I would have a mental attraction to (while some not in the slightest). Emotional attraction you are also right on with… you can’t be a player if you are emotionally involved with more than one chick at a time. In my case, I always had an emotional attraction with my ex-girl friend (that I was still seeing). I think your article is pretty accurate… I just don’t really care for the way you wrote it. You make it seem that being a player is a bad thing; when it is not necessarily (i.e. wrap it up dudes). While being a player, most of the ladies I was seeing knew I was a player and just didn’t care. They knew the score and just liked hanging out from time to time and enjoyed good sex. For me there really wasn’t any downside to juggling a bunch of chicks… It may have even helped my confidence levels and prepared me for when I met the woman that made me give up all the others (including the ex, that had been on and off for 8 yrs). So Don’t Player Hate My Man, It Can Be Productive For Some Of Us. <br> <br>P.S. The self-worth part of this article is a bunch of Bull Sh!t… at least in my case Former Player:  I think you are complicating the thought process of some of us… In my case, I became a player due to an on-going relationship that was constantly failing. So much drama b/w my lady and me, led me to add 1 to 4 other ladies into my life at any given time (while always on the look out for new ones that could trump the weaker links)… With most of them it would just be physical. Others I would have a mental attraction to (while some not in the slightest). Emotional attraction you are also right on with… you can’t be a player if you are emotionally involved with more than one chick at a time. In my case, I always had an emotional attraction with my ex-girl friend (that I was still seeing). I think your article is pretty accurate… I just don’t really care for the way you wrote it. You make it seem that being a player is a bad thing; when it is not necessarily (i.e. wrap it up dudes). While being a player, most of the ladies I was seeing knew I was a player and just didn’t care. They knew the score and just liked hanging out from time to time and enjoyed good sex. For me there really wasn’t any downside to juggling a bunch of chicks… It may have even helped my confidence levels and prepared me for when I met the woman that made me give up all the others (including the ex, that had been on and off for 8 yrs). So Don’t Player Hate My Man, It Can Be Productive For Some Of Us.
 
P.S. The self-worth part of this article is a bunch of Bull Sh!t… at least in my case

]]> By: Maria Fernandez93612 http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-919 Maria Fernandez93612 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:49:38 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-919 Oh sister!! He is using you big time. Have respect for yourself and then men will respect and love you. You are saying to him it is okay to treat you this way. You are valueable and deserve alot better!! People will treat you as you let them. NO IT IS NOT OKAY TO ACCEPT THIS BEHAVIOR!!<br><br>Marie Oh sister!! He is using you big time. Have respect for yourself and then men will respect and love you. You are saying to him it is okay to treat you this way. You are valueable and deserve alot better!! People will treat you as you let them. NO IT IS NOT OKAY TO ACCEPT THIS BEHAVIOR!!

Marie

]]> By: Amanda1 http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-910 Amanda1 Mon, 30 May 2011 23:48:30 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-910 I was just dating a player. I fell head over heels for him ~ At first. Then, as I tried to delve deeper, it seemed that his divorce 5 months ago, was more like 2-3 months ago, and he was always texting, and had over 500 facebook friends and women texting and FB him. He said he loved me, send me texts of engagement rings, told me I would make a beautiful bride, all kinds of crap. I did not fall for it completely. He univited me to church, promised me Expensive gifts for my birthday, but did not get me a card, missed my birthday, and took me to a normal dinner the next day, without even saying anythign about missing it. It really hurt me as I was unfolding that he was just playing games, since I was really hoping we had a connection. But, now I know what to look for. I just think that they should not keep telling you how they Love you sooo much, or Love you. It would be a fair game with out saying I love you. But, anyway.......FYI - He played college basketball, Big Blue Eyes, and was highly successful, so I agree with the sterotypical player types everyone describes them as. I was just dating a player. I fell head over heels for him ~ At first. Then, as I tried to delve deeper, it seemed that his divorce 5 months ago, was more like 2-3 months ago, and he was always texting, and had over 500 facebook friends and women texting and FB him. He said he loved me, send me texts of engagement rings, told me I would make a beautiful bride, all kinds of crap. I did not fall for it completely. He univited me to church, promised me Expensive gifts for my birthday, but did not get me a card, missed my birthday, and took me to a normal dinner the next day, without even saying anythign about missing it. It really hurt me as I was unfolding that he was just playing games, since I was really hoping we had a connection. But, now I know what to look for. I just think that they should not keep telling you how they Love you sooo much, or Love you. It would be a fair game with out saying I love you. But, anyway…….FYI – He played college basketball, Big Blue Eyes, and was highly successful, so I agree with the sterotypical player types everyone describes them as.

]]> By: Sue http://relationship-journal.com/2009/08/10/why-some-guys-become-%e2%80%9cplayers%e2%80%9d-and-why-women-are-often-attracted-to-them/comment-page-1/#comment-909 Sue Sat, 28 May 2011 16:18:53 +0000 http://relationship-journal.com/?p=572#comment-909 Players generally want sex but don't really want to know you as a person.  They may ask questions initially to get your trust and attention, but they don't really want to know the real you.  If by some chance they find themselves getting to know the real you and like what they find, they will make excuses for it not to work and start backing away.  They also prefer to keep you hidden and seldom seriously discuss the future.  The exceptions would be if you have the means to support them or give them resources to accomplish the selfish desires that they cannot acquire on their own.  Once you withhold these resources, they will whine and/or disappear.  Players are immature, and though charming, are in reality very self-centered.  Desperate, damaged, and clingy women are their prime targets.  The key is to judge by his actions and not his words.  Cut him a break once or twice, but if the pattern continues, cut him loose and move on. Players generally want sex but don't really want to know you as a person.  They may ask questions initially to get your trust and attention, but they don't really want to know the real you.  If by some chance they find themselves getting to know the real you and like what they find, they will make excuses for it not to work and start backing away.  They also prefer to keep you hidden and seldom seriously discuss the future.  The exceptions would be if you have the means to support them or give them resources to accomplish the selfish desires that they cannot acquire on their own.  Once you withhold these resources, they will whine and/or disappear.  Players are immature, and though charming, are in reality very self-centered.  Desperate, damaged, and clingy women are their prime targets.  The key is to judge by his actions and not his words.  Cut him a break once or twice, but if the pattern continues, cut him loose and move on.

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