Comments on: How To Set Limits To His Unacceptable Behavior?

By: Cindy Ricardo

Cindy Ricardo — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:02:04 +0000

Hi Mikko:

As a couples counselor I have to say that your piece speaks truth to what at times can be a huge source of conflict often leading to endless power struggles. How you make requests, the tone of your voice, your body language is very important. This is true for me in my relationship with my husband of 20 years. If I ask for something with a demanding tone, I notice that he automatically gets defensive and may do it but with an attitude! So it’s important to know where your request is coming from. If it’s loaded with anger, demands or resentment then your partner will definitely pick up on it and react to this. If it is asked with respect and truly a request from the heart then there is a “better chance” that it will be met with the same. Also letting your partner know what you appreciate about them is vital ingredient to a successful relationship. It’s about letting each other know the value and love you each bring to the relationship. A well written post!
Cindy Ricardo´s last blog ..How Mindfulness Meditation can Improve Your Life and Relationships

By: The Secret To Getting A Guy To Do Anything You Want |

The Secret To Getting A Guy To Do Anything You Want | — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:49:59 +0000

[...] secret to receiving anything you want from a man? As I have already alluded to in my article: “Dating Tips For Women: How To Set Limits To His Behavior,” the secret to receiving more from men is simply learning to appreciate and be grateful for what [...]

By: Honey

Honey — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:35:30 +0000

Positive reinforcement is awesome for getting the other person to step up. I agree!

By: urbanchick

urbanchick — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 02:50:36 +0000

Great advice, Mikko, especially the ‘pass the butter’ example. I’ve found that it’s most effective to call a guy on his behaviour right on the spot in a direct and non-judgemental/non-emotional tone.

I look forward to the follow up blog posting.

By: BecomingAttachable

BecomingAttachable — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:31:59 +0000

I absolutely agree with this advice. Just the other day I appreciated something my husband did for me. I almost felt embarrassed for saying what I said – like it might sound like too much or be gooey – but he loved it and immediately told me how much he enjoyed being appreciated.
Your idea of asking your guy for something like you are asking him to pass the butter is great! I will have to keep this in mind because sometimes my requests can be so emotionally laden and they just don’t have to be.