Comments on: Should You Date A Guy Who Is Already Taken?

By: Dear Mikko, Am I Having A Facebook Affair? | Relationship, Dating, Divorce, Advice, & Expriences by Mikko Kemppe

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 22:53:52 +0000

[...] read more of my thoughts on the topic, make sure also to read my other article: “Should I Date An Already Taken Guy?“ Social BookmarkingSHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Dear Mikko, Am I Having A Facebook Affair?", url: [...]

By: andrea4465

andrea4465 — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 00:54:36 +0000

Mikko:

My name is Andrea and you referred me to your site from the "MarsVenusLiving.Com" website, article titled "Am I too desperate for re-assurance". I responded to that article and asked Lauren about an issue I am having with a client of mine. Would you please give me your "manly" opinion of my situation and the actions I should take? Oh and try to answer some of my questions I asked too?

Thank you so much,
Andrea

By: Dear Mikko, Should I Really Take Your Relationship Advice? |

Dear Mikko, Should I Really Take Your Relationship Advice? | — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:48:27 +0000

[...] Mikko, I just read your article “Should You Date A Guy Who Is Already Taken?” on your blog post. I really like your relationship advice. This post particularly well [...]

By: Mikko, Can Exes Just Be Friends? |

Mikko, Can Exes Just Be Friends? | — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:13:32 +0000

[...] If it is hard for you to imagine that you could be friends with any of your exes, it is understandable that you have some doubts when someone else says he can. So, my first comment would be for you to examine the way you ended your own relationships. Were you able to end your relationships from a place of love and trust? Oftentimes, when we feel betrayed after a relationship, if we don’t take the proper time to heal, grieve, and forgive, it becomes very hard for us to open up and trust someone else again. Ironically, this sometimes leads us to pushing away those people that we should trust and being attracted to those we should not trust. (To learn more about this concept, read my article: “Should You Date A Guy Who Is Already Taken.”) [...]

By: Mikko Kemppe

Mikko Kemppe — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:33:19 +0000

Good for you April, taking time for yourself to heal is a great thing! Thanks for sharing and welcome to our community!

By: April

April — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 10:48:03 +0000

Wow, what you think pretty much answeres a lot… I have been on both sides of this scenario…
I was young naive and gullible, and my BF than cheated on me so badly, I doubt I really ever got over it completely… But I didnt want to lose him, just get him back and cheated on him… But 2 wrongs never makes a right… Too bad I only know that now…

Its a year now since than. I have a new BF, and LOTSA trust issues… I met this really attractive and just great guy recently, but he has a GF and a baby by her, and she lives in another City as well… I dont know how it happened, but we are having a full on affair now… The 1st time was a mistake we both happened to enjoy SO MUCH, we made it a fixed thing… But now I feel so guilty, I cannot help it… I started liking him on top of that, and called my BF by my lovers name the other day… It was so bad… So now I ended the affair, but he keeps calling me and sending me raunchy messaGES… AND MY HEART ACHES FOR HIM BUT, sometimes you have to know what bridges to burn and which to cross…

I left my Bf 2days ago, coz I dont think If it was meant to be I would have had that affair… I dont have ties with the guy I had an affair with either… And I am enjoying being single and guilt free and just taking the time to heal…

By: Anisa

Anisa — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 23:49:46 +0000

Thanks for the answer Mikko. I’ve read The Secret and I’ve already subscribed to your free ebook a few mounths ago. I am looking forward to read it. I think you give great advice and I like reading your articles.

By: Mikko Kemppe

Mikko Kemppe — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:58:29 +0000

Hi Anisa, and thanks for your question, which is a great one. There is so many layers to that answer that I am basically dedicating an entire book to answer it. You will be able to read exactly what I mean by that in my emotional mastery book. So if you have not already, make sure to simply put your name and e-mail address on the early notification list to receive the book for free and once I have it all the way finished, I will e-mail it for you. It is going to be free for my readers for a limited time only.

But to give you a short answer to your question in the simplest terms that I can, when you have been betrayed by someone you trusted you feel hurt. And unless you properly heal that hurt with love (I will explain one very powerful process in the book) it becomes harder for you to open your heart to trust someone in the future again. And this inability to trust love again makes it harder to receive love.

You might have heard the analogy that to protect your heart from future hurt you start building a brick wall around it, no love can get in put no love can get out either. While that is certainly true, what happens also is that as we subconsciously or consciously start to concentrate only on protecting ourselves from hurt what we don’t realize is that it is more hurt and people who hurt us that we unconsciously start to attract in to our lives.

This idea is also the basic premise for the well-known book The Secret. You attract what you concentrate your mind on. When you concentrate your mind on trusting and opening your heart to love more, you will attract more trustworthy and loving people into your life. But when you concentrate your mind on protecting your heart from hurt and untrustworthy people, you unfortunately only attract more hurt and untrustworthy people in to your life.

And while understanding this idea can be very helpful, it really just scratches the surface. And to really understand this concept in a much deeper level, make sure to subscribe to my free ebook . Hey, I sound like a good salesman .

By: Anisa

Anisa — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:27:07 +0000

“Unfortunately, this inability to trust in love often pushes us to look for love in all the wrong places. When we have deep unresolved feelings of betrayal and have trouble trusting, ironically, we tend to trust all the wrong people.”

This sounds like “very alarming” to me. I hope you will explain this one to us because I can’t see the connection. How is it possible to be blind for the right trustworthy people? What do you meam by “all the wrong places”?

Anisa

By: urbanchick

urbanchick — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:53:26 +0000

Elizabeth brings up an interesting point, that perhaps what both participants have in common is a sense of selfishness. There are some women who actually like dating married men, or are always drawn to them. Many of them have committment issues themselves.

That said, I can see Mikko’s intended point in that the married one is more culpable because (s)he is the one committing the actual adultury. And if it’s not that person he’s cheating with, it’ll be someone else.