Is HE the One, or What? See What My Friend Lauren Says!
First, let me introduce you to my dear friend Lauren Gray:
She is a doctor of psychology once removed: she is John Gray’s (Author of the best selling relationship book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) daughter, so lets just say relationship know-how runs in her genes. Since the day she hit puberty, friends and acquaintances have come to her for advice. Twelve years later she is finally making her skills available to the public. Finally!
She has one of the most insightful, informative, honest, and entertaining relationship columns that I know, and one that I most closely follow. Since I have enjoyed it so much, I thought you would too. So with that said, take a look at Lauren’s advice to someone who was struggling to find out whether she should continue to date this guy.
Dear Lauren, At first the guy I was with was attentive and then he just started coming over for late night booty calls. I asked him to take me out on a date like he used to but he stood me up. I told him that was my limit and I ignored his phone calls for three months. Now we’re trying to be friends. We went to a party last night and he kept saying how good I made him look, but he got jealous when other men were looking at me. He tried “putting the moves” on me, but also kept picking fights about how mad I got over his late night visits, and how I make more money than him so he’s not really good enough for me. I can’t figure out what gives. He’s the best guy I’ve dated in a long time. Should I get back together with him? Be his friend? Apologize? – Heidi C. in Pine Hill, NJ
He’s a baby, a lost puppy, a court jester.
Unfortunately the qualities that make him these three endearing characteristics are the same qualities that put a big LOSER sign on this guy’s forehead. He whines. He’s dependant on other people to feel happy and secure. He’s lost and confused when it comes to life, himself and women. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions. He is a victim. And finally-he’s a fool.
When he says, “I’m not good enough for you,” he’s fishing. He wants your response to be, “No of course you are! I don’t care that you make less money than me and I’m sorry for getting mad at you when we were a couple. Shall we ride off into the sunset now? I’ve taken the liberty of hiring from Rent-A-Horse!”
This man has low self-esteem and needs this kind of encouragement to woo you. Unfortunately, rather than discuss these concerns with you or ideally just feel worthy enough to win you back with the classic ‘charm, wit, and poetry’ combo, he goes through the back door with this passive aggressive nonsense.
If I sound more intense than usual it’s only because I fully believe that the “victims” of the world need Help: therapy, spirituality, vision quests, whatever, NOT a girlfriend or boyfriend. I also know that women should be lovers and partners NOT babysitters, mothers, or verbal punching bags. This man is not ready for a relationship.
But enough about him, lets talk about you. I think you might have an addiction. It’s very common among women. It’s Latin name is “Loserboyfriendism.”…
… to read her entire advice, click here and make sure to leave her a comment.
