How To Apologize To A Woman – (Part I of V)
Photo by Nattu
This is the first part of the four part series to how to apologize with a woman.
Have you ever wondered why she is getting so upset with you? To you it seems like she is upset about a little thing, but she seems to be making a big deal out of it. Or has this ever happened to you – everything in your relationship had been going well, but then all of a sudden she became mad or angry with you, while you had no idea what happened?
Or maybe you realize that you made a mistake and you tried to apologize, but she only got unhappier with you. Or have you ever gotten so frustrated that you wanted to just give up and say: “Well the heck with this, nothing I do or say seems to matter, and even if I say how sorry I am it does not work, so why even bother?”
If you are like most guys, you probably have experienced at least one of the above moments I described.
In this article, I am going to reveal some of my secrets on how to apologize with women in a way that works.
Believe me, I have made my share of mistakes and sometimes gotten myself into more trouble than you would believe. But if you apply what you will learn in this article, I promise your life with women will change for the better. At least it has for me.
When I was younger and more immature, I often did not even know or realize that I had made a mistake. Therefore, I often did not even realize or want to accept that I should apologize.
When my girlfriend was angry, frustrated, or mad it hardly ever even occurred to me that it might have been my fault. After all, I thought if she really had a problem with me that she would just come right out and tell me. And even if I thought that I might have had something to do with her being upset, it was always just so much easier to blame her for everything, so that’s what I did.
It was later that I learned that a woman could be very angry with you and feel like she can’t really trust you to tell you about it. Or even worse, she may feel so angry that she feels like you don’t even deserve the chance to be forgiven.
Either way you are in trouble ☺.
So the first step to the secret of making amends with women is this: if she seems angry or upset around you, always assume it is because of something you did.
Now, I already know what you are thinking: “Mikko, why in the world should I assume that I did something wrong if I know I have not?” Or you might be laughing to yourself and saying something like: “Does it not take two people for every argument, isn’t she always just as much at fault as I am, why should I be the one trying to make amends?”
Those are all reasonable questions, but the problem with that type of thinking is that it just does not give you the best results. So if you don’t want to take full responsibility of what you create in life, then it is fine for you to continue to think that way, but if you are ready to change your relationships for better, then keep reading.
But before I go on, let me clarify that I am not saying that women are not responsible for their own feelings of upset. In reality they are 100% responsible. But having said this, by learning more about how you can best support your partner when she is upset will go along way in creating a much happier relationship.
Furthermore, if you would be able to see the world from women’s eyes, you would become much more aware of how often we men unknowingly hurt or invalidate their feelings. Secondly, you would become much more keenly aware of how many mistakes we make in our relationships and communications with them.
But thirdly, and most importantly, by always assuming that you have made a mistake, even when you think or know you have not, you become equipped with one of the most important skills to making peace with women.
By always assuming that you have made a mistake when you see her angry or upset is like stripping a kidnapper of all of his bullets and weapons in a hostage situation.
See when you notice that a woman is upset or angry with you and you go approach her to ask her about it, you have already alleviated 50% of her anger just by you taking the initiative.
Women often don’t feel comfortable telling you that they are upset or angry with you until their emotions have bottled up to the point that they feel like they just have to tell you. They often try to find or even make up more reasons to fully feel justified in telling you how upset they are. These reason will only fuel her justification for being upset more.
Or even more unfortunately, many women have learned to suppress their negative feelings and act like everything is fine just to keep peace while inside they start to slowly feel more and more disconnected from you.
By you simply noticing that she is upset or angry about something, you will score big points. Just by understanding this little insight you will already be on your way to a much happier relationship.
This is the first step (out of four) to making amends with women. In the next part you will learn what do next by learning what is the best way to approach her when you think she is upset about something ☺. But believe me just by having this attitude of openness to acknowledging how you might have hurt her will go along way in making peace with her.
Let me know any experiences you might have had. Have you found other ways that have worked for you? Have you had funny experiences with trying to ask for forgiveness? Have you ever experienced getting wounded or beaten down by trying to listen to an upset woman? Ladies, what is the best apology that you have received? How do you think you should apologize to a woman?
