How To Apologize To A Woman – (Part II of V)
Have you ever wondered how to apologize to a woman? If, so you have come to the right place. If you missed the first part of this series, make sure to read it here:
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part I
In the first part, I revealed that the first step to apologizing with women is simply to notice when she is upset and to take responsibility for making your relationship better.
It is very important that you realize that it is at these times when she is upset, frustrated, or angry that she needs your love more than ever.
The irony is that the way we men usually love and support the women we love in our life is often completely the opposite of what women really need.
Let me explain what I mean.
If you are friends with another guy and you see or notice him being very upset or angry about something, what would be your typical first reaction to support him as your friend?
If you are a guy, your first reaction is probably simply to leave him alone. At the most, you might just ask him if everything is ok. And if your friend would say something like: “ yes, I am fine” you would most likely just follow through with what your initial instincts told you and simply leave him alone, right?
In other words, you would trust him that he is a grown man and he is fully capable of handling his own upsets and that he does not really need a hug from you or for you to try to care or to console him in anyway.
By trusting him in this way while at the same time letting him know that you would be glad to help if he needed you is actually very loving gesture. This is one very typical way that men communicate their “love” to each other as friends.
The problem, however, is that this same approach of communicating “love” to a woman when she is upset can actually be one of the worst things you can do.
And unfortunately, unless you know any better, it goes completely against your intuition to do anything else.
The reason is that while another guy who is upset would simply need you to trust that he will be ok, what a woman really need is that you actually show that you really care for her.
And the way you show this caring and love is critical if you want to have a happier and more loving and peaceful relationship.
So let’s explore the next step to the art of apology.
After you notice that she is upset or that something might be worrying, frustrating or upsetting her, the next step is not simply to leave her alone, but the complete opposite, you continue to observe her.
To use my hostage analogy from the first part of this series ☺ further, this can actually also be a very intuitive thing that we men do.
After all you would not just jump into a hostage situation without a strategy; and just like in a hostage situation you first simply have to carefully observe the entire situation before you make your next move ☺.
So what I am telling you to do after you realize that she is upset is simply to observe her from a short distance. Just sit down somewhere or stand by her and look at her or to her direction.
Just make sure that at some point she sees that you are observing or looking at her.
First of all, women love to be noticed and being the center of someone’s attention. This is why women put so much effort into fashion, make-up, hair, choosing clothing, jewelry, etc.
But more importantly in this case, by simply observing her when she is upset you start to disarm her further.
If she really is upset with you, this is what is going through her mind as she sees you observing her: “Why is he just looking at me? Is he really concerned about me? I don’t think so. Or maybe he really does care. I guess we’ll see. I just can’t believe he can be such a jerk. I am not going to forgive what he did/said, at least not this easy. But it is really nice that at least he is noticing that I am upset.”
The key at this point is simply gently to persist.
And if you really want to test the battleground, go give her a hug. Observe the reaction you get. If she asks you to go away or tries to get out of the hug, it really means that she is upset with you. So be prepared.
If she receives your hug with warm welcome, what that means is that she probably was not upset with you at all, but that most likely something else was stressing her like her work or school all along.
But to prepare for this move, you have to put on your bulletproof vest ☺ and be ready to take a couple of hits, if necessary. Because if she is upset with you, you are going to know about it ☺. And unless you are prepared, you might just get hurt.
But just like in a hostage situation, you can’t just start firing back just because you feel like it or you might actually kill some innocent lives.
So the goal is to safely and securely disarm her while at the same time closely guard and protect her innocent feelings. And if you are able to do this I promise that in her eyes she will start to see you more and more as her hero. And although this might initially seem just as dangerous or difficult as an actual hostage situation, I promise with practice it will get easier and easier.
So there you have the second step to apologizing with a woman, when you notice that she is upset or frustrated, simply observe her for a while, and then go give her a hug.
And if you find out that she is just stressed about work or school and you really want to score some extra points, tell her something supportive like: “Honey, I just don’t know how you do it all, you work so hard and give so much of yourself, let me give you a hug”.
If you are a woman reading this post and you would like to receive that type of support would you let the guys here know by commenting below ☺? If you are guy, go test some of these ideas, and report back to us and let us know what happened. In the next part to how to apologize to a woman, I will reveal how you might actually at some point have to start firing after all and I’ll reveal how to bring in the big guns to do it ☺.
