Should I Call Him Or Should I Not Call Him?
Have you ever been dating a guy and asked yourself: “Should I call him or should I not call him?”
If you are like most women, I am sure you have. You might have even read some books or articles about this very question. Maybe you have even read the book or saw the movie “He Is Just Not That Into You”, which probably just left you even more confused.
Whatever the case may be, here you are reading this article probably in conflict feeling like your thoughts are tearing you a part. Part of you feels that you should call him, but then another part of you is telling you that you should not call him.
Sounds familiar? Well, would you like an honest guy’s perspective?
Here it is. Of course you should call him.
But before you go to your purse to pick up your cell phone to dial his number make sure you understand this first.
Contrary to what everyone says there is a way to call a guy back that does not leave you sounding needy or desperate and will in fact just make him even more attracted to you. Would you like to learn the secret?
Now before I reveal it to you, let me make one thing very clear. The truth is that most of the time when a woman is calling a guy back simply out of their own insecurities it really is a bad idea.
For example, let’s say you have been dating a guy for three weeks. You two have been either talking, texting, or seeing each other almost every other day and all of a sudden you have not heard from him in a week.
You start to feel like maybe he does not care about you after all. Maybe you start to think whether it was something you did that made him not want to contact you back. Or maybe you start worrying that something terrible has happened in his life. And finally, even after you have run through all of the possible theories and conclusions in your head you still get little upset or hurt that he has not called you.
And worse, the question in your mind still remains: “should I call him or should I not call him?” And while it remains true that it probably is not such a good idea to simply call him to ask how he is doing out of your insecurities, this does not mean that you could not call him at all. Allow me to explain.
As a side note, to understand more positively why men may not call you while they may even be head over heals to you, read my article “He Is Just Not That Interest In Your, Or Is He?” or read one of my readers questions on this same topic: “Mikko Should I Call Him?”
So while it is not a good idea to call him just because you are worried, what you can do is this. Simply call him or text him to ask for his advice on something he is expert in.
The trick with guys is that you always want to assume that they have some good reasons for doing what they are doing, or as in this case not doing and the reality is that men almost always do.
So while it is not a good idea to call him to question where the relationship is going or to ask if everything is ok with him, what I am suggesting is for you to simply use him instead. Not in mean spirit, of course ☺.
So let’s say you are both in school, and you know he is excellent in math. Simply call him or text him to ask if he would have a moment to help you solve a math problem that you are struggling with. Or let’s say you know he is real estate investor, email or text him to ask for an investment advice. Just try to ask about something you sincerely have a question about that he can solve.
The reality is that men love to be experts.
In a very real physical and concrete way solving problems for others actually increases our testosterone levels, which lowers our stress levels (as measured by our cortisol levels). As a result, we will be happier and will also feel more bonded to you.
The caveat is that you want to make sure you are asking his help for something that he can very easily do or solve. So don’t ask him to come over to mow your entire lawn even if he is a gardener ☺. But call him about a tip to where should you plant your flower if you know he would have the answer instead.
When you do call him, have a friendly voice and simply say something like: “Hey James, how are you? Do you have a moment? I got this plant from my friend and I was just wondering would you know how much sunlight it needs, I really don’t know that much about them, but I thought I would ask you, what do you think?” Then as soon as he has told you his answer, thank him and get off the phone.
Again, it is very important that you sincerely do appreciate his help. It is by sincerely thanking him that will give him the boost of testosterone that all men are craving for today.
So the next time you are wondering whether you should or should not call him, call him, but simply ask for his advice instead. Why? Because the real reason you probably want to call him is to alleviate your own insecurities. By simply asking for his advice you will get the assurance you need that he still likes you, but even more importantly you will also give him the opportunity to bond with you even further.
Men are always attracted to where they can make a difference. And by you assuming the best you will continue to bring the best out of him.
What do you think? Have you ever been in a situation where you have been wondering: “Should I call him, or should I not call him?” What did you do?
