Dear Mikko, Should I Text Him?
Dear Mikko, the question I have in my mind is “Should I text him?” Here is my situation.
I met this guy online 5 years ago. We have been pen paling ever since. He has always been very sweet but the problem then was that he lived in another state. We tried to meet in real life a few times when he moved to the same city that I now live, but it never quite seemed to work out.
But about a month ago I had two basketball tickets and invited him to a game. He accepted the invitation and was a perfect gentleman. We had a great time.
Then Christmas came around and we both got busy, so we didn’t go out again for another two weeks. But we kept in touch daily either by text or by phone. Over that time he texted very sweet things like “I am thinking about you”, “I miss you” etc.
Then last Wednesday we went on a second date and it seemed like we both had a great time again. The next day was New Years Eve, which we were celebrating separately. I texted him and asked how his day was and if he was excited about his plans for that night.
His text back was very short and dismissive and I haven’t heard from him since. That was three days ago. I thought about sending a text just to see how he’s doing.
But then I saw you on your facebook fan page, and I thought “hey why not ask the experts advice ☺ before I do?” So there you have it. Watcha think?
~ Text Messenger from Texas
Dear Text Messenger ☺,
Thank you for your question. First of all, I can assure you are not the only woman who has ever been pondering in her mind: “Should I text him or should I not text him”?
Ironically, it often seems that with the ever improving technological gadgets we have at our disposal and the abounding dating and relationship advice that we have available today our decisions on how to keep in touch with our dates or significant others have only become harder and harder.
In fact, many of the dating rules and advise that I have read on-line has even got my head spinning, and I am a dating and relationship coach, so no wonder you are confused too.
You hear advice like: men like to pursue so you should never text or call him; others say you should only call or text him when he has done so first. Yet others say, if you even have to think about the answer to that question it should be no. And yet some are adamant that the dating rules have completely reversed and women should go after for what they want and men should follow.
With all of this advice for even a seemingly simply question like: “Should I text him?” no wonder our lives have become so complicated.
So with that said, let me try to make it easier for you and give you my honest guy’s perspective to your question. So do I think you should text him? Yes, I think it is just fine for you to text him.
There is one simple guideline that I would like to give you, however. Just make sure that on average he is pursuing you more than you are pursuing him. By keeping this balance you will wisely nurture the right environment for the healthy kind of attraction to develop and grow even further as you get to know each other better.
The best kind of text message that I think you could write in this situation would say something like: “Hey Tom, just thought about our date the other night and how much fun I had. Thanks! Hope all is well!”
Men love to hear messages on how they made you happy or contributed to your happiness. Furthermore, by writing this kind of text message does not make you appear needy or desperate. You are simply acknowledging what a fun time you had on your date together. This will make him think about you with affection and longing.
Always assume that if something really were worrying him that he can’t deal with on his own that he would come out and tell you about it.
Realize that by texting him messages of how he was successful in making you happy is like giving honey to a bee. And I have a feeling if you try this he will come flying back to you again soon.
Try it and come back to let us know what happens.
Have you ever thought to yourself: “Should I text him?” What happened and what did you do? What is the advice you would give her?
