How To Apologize To A Woman – (Part IV of V)
This is the fourth part of the five part series on how to apologize to a woman.
If you missed the first three parts, go read them here:
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part I
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part II
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part III
If you have been following these articles this far, some of you maybe asking: “Well Mikko, if this apologizing stuff is so hard, is it really even worth it?” ☺
Ironically, sometimes we men feel like we would rather go out and risk our life for our love ones than to try to apologize to them.
But the truth is that if you take the initiative to apologize to a woman it really will be worth it.
Let me tell you why. First of all, when you take the initiative to apologize to a woman it provides her much needed support for her female side.
In a very physical and real way, apologizing, supporting, and caring for a woman will stimulate the hormone oxytocin, which in turn will lower her stress (as measured by the drop in cortisol levels).
The reality is that women today don’t really need men so much to protect them from any enemy outside. Women today have mazes in their purses and in some cases more self-defense training than us guys 
. And for the most part we all live in a civilized society with a police to protect us, so our traditional male female roles have definitely changed.
What women need us more than ever before is for us to be there for them for emotional support. This is why it is particularly important that you learn to ask for forgiveness.
Of course, just to clarify, I am not saying that you should apologize her for something you have not done. I am simply saying that if you notice that she is stressed out or seems upset about something, she will appreciate if you show her concern and let her know that she is not alone.
And if you find out that she is upset with you and take the initiative to apologize to her, it will start the process for validating her feelings and increasing her production of oxytocin making her feel loved and cared for.
Women today need men, who can make noble sacrifices to listen, care, understand, and protect them from their own enemies inside. Women need men who not only provide physical safety but emotional safety for women to feel safe to be themselves.
And if you think about it, in the end, the reality is that if you have made a mistake the choice is really yours on whether you want to endure ten minutes of supporting her now or for the next ten months shortly after. Either way in the end you are going to pay for your mistake ☺, so make sure to choose wisely.
Another irony is that we men often complain just as much about women “complaining” than women are actually complaining. At some point, we need to toughen up and stop whining about it and start to learn better ways to solve the real problem.
And one of the solutions you are reading right here, which is learning to apologize to women in a way that actually works.
So the fourth step to how to apologize with a woman is that after you have said you are sorry you simply have to be quiet and listen. Do not try to say anything or justify why you did something.
Let me repeat ☺. Do not say anything. Let her talk. Bite your tongue. Do not give explanations for your behavior and definitely do not explain how she might have misunderstood you. Simply say nothing.
The less you say at this point and the more you listen the better.
And if you really want to become a heavy weight champion listener ☺, while she has paused after talking about her feelings, look her in the eyes and utter these words as sincerely as you possible can: “tell me more”. ☺
If you at any point need a break, rather than try to listen, it is better to say with the friendliest voice that you can muster and say something like: “Honey, thanks for sharing me your feelings, let me think about everything you have just said and let’s talk again later”.
If she wants to continue to talk and you feel like you cannot listen without explaining yourself or arguing back with her, it is very important that you simply repeat that phrase and seek solace.
At this point, you might already feel exhausted just by reading this series. But let me assure you, at this point you are almost through it, you have almost sealed the deal .
And for the final touch on how to apologize to a woman come back again soon. In the meanwhile, share your thoughts or questions. Or come and check out some of our fun and lively discussion also on my facebook fan page. How do you think a man should apologize to a woman?
