Comments on: How To Pursue A Man?

By: Dear Mikko, Why Guy’s Either Want To Marry You After First Coffee Date Or Are Completely Non-Committal? Where Is The Happy Medium? | Relationship, Dating, Divorce, Advice, & Expriences by Mikko Kemppe

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:04:42 +0000

[...] “I am an independent successful woman why aren’t guys attracted to me“, “how to pursue a guy“, “the secrets on how to get a guy to do anything you want“, “Are You sure [...]

By: mikkokemppe

mikkokemppe — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 18:01:41 +0000

Hi Sheila,

Great question, does a man appreciate a lady who asks exclusivity before sleeping with him? I think the answer could be yes and no. If he only wants to have sex then probably not, but if he is looking for a serious relationship and you want to take things slowly and ask to be exclusive before jumping to bed, then yes, you would be likely only to earn his respect even more for stating your wants.

Now having said this, it is also really in all in the way you do it. What I mean is that if you make demands, sound resentful, or annoyed that he wants sex and make him wrong for wanting it before exclusivity, then no, a guy would not necessarily appreciate it. But in this case it really has nothing to do with your request, but all in the way you communicated your wants to him.

Guys ultimately always want just to make you happy and for the most part is are always happy to go along with you. Just make sure you state your wants in a loving and trusting way.

By: mikkokemppe

mikkokemppe — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:52:54 +0000

Very nice clarification Stealtheshow. I completely agree!

By: sheila chan

sheila chan — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:54:09 +0000

Belated happy Valentines day Mikko,

As a man, do you appreciate a lady who asks for exclusivity after dating for a while and before sleeping with him? I would like to clear things out that the purpose of suggesting for exclusivity is to be able to give a 100% of herself and personal efforts for the relationship. I believe there are ladies who offer exclusivity because they choose to stand in a position of integrity and seek the same values from their special someone.

I wonder whether men would be able to see the light from this proposition? Or just see the lady as someone offering a selfish ultimatum.

Kindly give tips on how a lady can offer exclusivity in the most positive way.

More power!

By: mikkokemppe

mikkokemppe — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:27:14 +0000

Thanks for the comment!

By: stealtheshow

stealtheshow — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:58:14 +0000

There is no question if he is attracted to her, he will pursue. When he is completely not attracted to her, no matter what she does he may not react. But a lot of times he is just into “may be, I dont know” type of feeling or sometimes he hasn't even noticed her yet, in these cases if she is really into him and if she gives a little nudge by either initiating or making a gesture for him to initiate a conversation, it could flip the reaction either side including he might actually feel the attraction now.

I believe everyone must pursue what they like or want regardless of gender; you have nothing to loose, worst case you would find out he was in “completely not attracted” category. So what, at least you have him out of your system now and you can move on instead of keep wondering whether he is attracted to me and whether he would ever approach me.