How To Apologize To A Woman – (Part V or V)
How to apologize to a woman?
Before I reveal the last part, let me quickly summarize the first four parts.
In the first part, I discussed how it is helpful if you are open to the possibility that you might have done something to cause her upset.
In the second part, I revealed how to actually test to find out if she is upset at you or whether it is something else that she is stressed out about.
In the third part, I explained how to properly say I am sorry.
In the fourth part, I discussed the importance of listening.
And finally, in this fifth part you will learn how to communicate your apology in a way that actually leaves her feeling like you understood her. Ultimately it is by implementing this last step to your apologizing strategy what makes your apology to really work 
.
But before I reveal the final secret to apologizing with women, I want to congratulate you for reading this far. Because what I have outlined in this five part series is no easy endeavor.
But I promise you this, if you are willing to try what I have suggested here, your life with women will become so much easier ☺.
Think of it as lifting weights. To perfectly do everything I have suggested in this series would be like trying to bench press 300 pounds when you have never even been in the gym before.
Give yourself time, and try each of my suggestions one at a time and slowly work your way up to implementing and mastering them all. And if you do, you will grow the emotional muscles of a champion ☺.
So what is the final step to apologizing with a woman?
It is to describe yourself with a negative adjective that describes you in away that she actually feels about you at that moment.
In other words, after you have said that you are sorry and listened to her feelings, describe yourself with a negative adjective. The key is to find an adjective that describes you in a way she feels about you in that particular moment; with an adjective she has no choice but to agree with you.
Some great adjectives to use are: insensitive, inconsiderate, uncaring asshole, selfish, stupid, immature, and jerk.
Now if you are a really nice a sensitive guy, this may be a little harder for you to do.
But if you are like most guys, you should not have a problem identifying with one of those adjectives above at times. And realize that of course just because you describe yourself as one the above adjectives does not mean that this is the real truth about you.
The goal here is simply to make her feel like you understand how she is feeling about you at that moment.
So here is what you do.
After you have said you are sorry and listened to her feelings. Take a moment to really reflect on what she said.
For example, if she told you: “I feel at times like you only care about yourself. You buy whatever you want. How could you buy that stereo system without telling me? And when I want something you just say: “Well let’s think about it”. You never even consider what I want? I feel like this relationship is all about you. I work just like you and do everything around here while you just sit in the coach, how is that fair?”
In your mind many of these assertions may be completely false. As you listen to her you might be thinking to yourself: “But I do consider what she wants, just a week ago I bought her that new dress”, or “But I did mention her that I was thinking about buying that stereo system”, or “How can she think I don’t help her? Just yesterday, I washed the dishes”.
When you have heard her talk to you while she is upset, you most likely have thought to yourself, but what she says is not true. All of us could think of a million reasons to explain her how what she is saying is not the truth.
But realize that she does not need your justifications or explanations at this point. What she needs is for you to understand how she is feeling.
The real truth is that if you would fully see the world from her point of view you would clearly see and understand why she is upset with you.
The key to making peace with her is to realize that she does not need you to show her how her feelings are wrong. Show her that you understand and care how she feels instead.
Simply pause take a moment to consider what she said.
And after you have let her talk about her upset feelings, using the above situation as an example, you could say something like: “Honey, I realize I have been really selfish and inconsiderate, I am really sorry.”
The more sincere you are and the more you really understand her point of view, the better your apology will be.
And if you are able to do this what will start to happen is this. Her mind will begun to process what you just said and it might go something like this: “I agree, you have been selfish and insensitive. Hmmm.. maybe he really does understand how I feel. I guess maybe he does care after all. I guess he is not such a bad guy. And I do love him, after all he did buy me that dress a week ago. And wow, he even did the dishes the other day. Maybe I should not be so hard on him. And he did come and apologized. Hmmm… I am really lucky to have him. I am so happy to have such a loving and supportive guy in my life”.
And after she has thought that through, she may tell you: “Oh honey, I forgive you, it’s ok, I think got so upset, I have just been so stressed out lately”.
And if you are a woman reading this, make sure to thank you partner for apologizing and listening to you if you can. Tell him how good it feels to have his love and support. This will do wonders to re-enforcing his behavior and slowly helping him to become more and more loving and supportive.
So the key is to try to understand how she is feeling and then to come up with an adjective to describe how she sees you at the moment. You can start by using the adjectives I gave you above. But later you may also have to come up with some new and better ones .
So there you have it. Try it and come back to share with us what happens. Or join our many fun and interesting discussions about our topics also on my facebook page. What do you think makes the best apology?
And if you missed the first four parts, make sure to go check them out here:
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part I
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part II
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part III
How To Apologize To A Woman – Part IV
