Yes, some of those stereotypes are really hard to fight and it does not feel good when you face them. I have often dated black women, for example, and especially when I was living in Louisiana I could feel how many people looked down upon me because of it. They did not have to say anything for me to know it.

I often felt like I was fighting a not-so-good image of a man because I was dating a black woman. And furthermore, my date often felt pressured because she was feeling like she was betraying her race.

You often have to have a really strong sense of self when you date out side of your race and expose yourself to face the stereotypes of others. Remember that in your heart only you know the reasons you are dating your partner. In the end, all successful people in the world have faced adversity and negative judgments from others to create something beautiful and amazing.

While it is good to take in consideration how others see you and think about you, don't ever let the negative judgments of others hold you down or keep you from doing what you feel right in your heart.

Remember that you deserve to be treated with love and care. You are a special young lady and your partner is very lucky that he has found such an enlightened and smart partner. I mean that. I have seen you come to this blog long enough to know that your heart is sincere and I know that in time you will blossom in to become a beautiful and confident woman that I already know you are!

Wish you strength and love on your journey!

Thank you for your personal insights and moreso for understanding my “fears” and sentiments here. I am a professional accountant; but I clearly acknowledge my special someone makes a lot more than I do.

Honest communication is the key here and I can only wish I knew how communicate my thoughts and receive simple favours in a way that would work best for both of our interests.

Hello Mikko,

Hope we could hear from a man's point of view here too!

As a young Asian lady I am struggling to step above some not-so-good image of women who date Western guys with ulterior motives (marriage for comfort; for financial support or to acquire visa & ect.) These then made me feel cautious and awkward to ask for simple favours or to see my special guy take care of the bill on our dinner dates.

Please help me see things more clearly and develop better understanding of how to place this issue in proper perspective.

Looking forward again to your wealth of great wisdom.

I think for most people, my-self included, it is often very hard to fully step out of our own shoes and to understand how all of us with different cultural and racial backgrounds often experience the world very differently from one another.

Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for your great comment! And thanks for being a long time reader.

I understand what you mean. You are saying that when you are choosing to date someone you should not prejudge anyone based on their race because it is not a person's race that is the determining factor whether your relationship is going to be successful with that person or not. And furthermore, you are saying that opening yourself to dating people from all different cultures and races you will add many more eligible singles to your dating pool. I agree.

I also agree with you that for anyone looking to meet the right type of person for them it is important for them to be clear and focused on what it is that they really want and look for in a person.

I am certainly not tying to say or imply that you should not date a person with a different racial or cultural background.

My message is simply that the more differences you have with someone the more challenges you are likely to face to learn to understand those differences. And when we are in a relationship with someone with a different racial or cultural background it is important that we learn to understand those differences in a positive way.

For example, one time I was dating a girl who was from a country in South America and she was always late. Once I realized that her being late was just part of her cultural and she was not doing it because she was trying to irritate me , I did not have to take her tardiness personally and I could just have a conversation with her about it.

Furthermore, there are still many people who are not willing to date outside of their race for whatever reason and will judge you for doing it. So it is important that you are also ready to handle the pressures from those who might judge you for dating outside of your race or someone with a different religious or cultural background.

But my advice in all cases is always to follow your heart and for you to do what feels right to you. Have you had any experiences where you have been able to successfully come to understand any racial or cultural differences in your relationship or dating experiences?