I think there's some advantage in understanding how female and male hormones operate, but it's limited. Women's hormones fluctuate drastically all the time, depending on the time of day, or time of month, but that doesn't mean our behavior fluctuates drastically as well. Hormones are just one factor out of many that influence behavior in relationships. They don't rule a man or woman's behavior, and with some simple awareness, their influence on our behavior can be mitigated and/or controlled.

Cherie, I think your observations are correct and I applaud your brother's friend for his approach to dating at this point in his life. It shows character and integrity. Rare qualities these days. Men should definitely be up front and honest with the women their pursuing and having sex with, about whether or not they're ready for a commitment. Especially if they're recently divorced. Anything less, is unfair, insensitive, and irresponsible. And if a guy doesn't have that level of self awareness and/or is confused about he wants, he should have the decency to concentrate on self-reflection and becoming more self aware, instead of bringing a new woman into his own confusion and risking hurting her in the process.

Women don't usually just date around for shits and giggles, even if there's no sex involved! And you cannot honestly give one person a real chance, if you're dating multiple people at once, even if there's no sex involved! We as human beings, are just not that good at multi-tasking with affairs of the heart. A couple of good general rules of thumb: If you're on the 5th date with a guy, and he's still dating and/or sleeping with other women. RUN. If a guy tells you he likes you so much and things are going so great that he feels the need to see other women. RUN. Let him figure out what his deal is, on his own.

I also agree with you Cherie about there being no right or wrong timeline or “happy medium” for when to have sex while dating. I think happy couples everywhere can attest to this. Some had sex on the first date, some waited a week, some a month. Organic is good. Going with what feels right is also good. But it's also about being very clear about what you want and in that sense it's about having sex responsibly, realizing that another person's feelings are potentially involved, and that one's actions have consequences.

When you say you don't want a macho guy what do you mean? How is a macho guy a turn off to you.

What I mean by the words macho and “alpha male” is to describe someone who is confident and takes charge. Confidence and assertiveness are both attractive qualities.

And I agree with you that it is important for a guy to be a nice and sensitive in a sense that he considers and respects your feelings and wants.

But I think you can be both a macho alpha male who is also a nice and sensitive to others feelings.

It sounds like your last date was much what I would describe a great guy. I think that is a great sign that you are right on track to attract your dream man to you !

I also agree with you that it is hard to give a time line on a happy medium, but I think there are certain conditions that make it easier for you to find out whether someone is the right one for you. But more on that on later posts.

Thanks for you comment Cherie!

I was just talking to a friend of my brothers this weekend who was recently divorced. He said that he has to be very careful dating women and letting them know where he stands because he's not ready for a committment. I definitely want to get married and have children but I don't see why women are in such a rush when studies show that marriage works out much better for men than women. Married men live longer than single men.

In answer to your question, this is what I consider to be a happy medium: You go out on a first date, see how things go, if there is interest on both parts you make a plan for your 2nd date at the end of your 1st date. I don't think there is a timeline on a happy medium but just more of a feeling. If it feels right I don't think there is anything wrong with getting married, or into a monogamous relationship after a very short time. I think that it just has to be organic and cannot be forced either way.

Cherie