How To Compliment A Woman On A Date? – Reminder For Myself Tonight!
Since I am going to a nice Jazz club for a date here in San Francisco tonight, I thought I would write a reminder to myself about how to compliment a woman 
.This way when I see her, I will be more likely to remember to give her a good compliment and to score some brownie points ☺.
But before I start, let me get something off my chest. The funny thing about being a dating coach is this. While I do have great knowledge and understanding about the dating process, when I, myself, am in a dating situation the knowledge that I have about women and relationships often flies right out of the window. If you are a woman reading this you may be thinking that I am joking, but I am not.
Allow me to explain.
The reason is this. Both men and women have an intuitive way of behaving and reacting to situations that is fundamentally different from each other. For example, in the world of compliments this means that women often intuitively give men the type of compliments they would like to receive without much if any consideration about the compliments that men would actually want to hear and vice versa.
The truth is that unless we learn to communicate and express ourselves in a way that takes in to consideration how the opposite sex may also interpret us, our intuitive way to behave and react to situations is very often not the best way.
No matter how good at you get at dating or communicating it is absolutely impossible for you to always correctly learn to interpret and react to others in a manner that would be best for them.
What I have realized is that no matter how much I would like to think that by being a dating coach I am somehow superior to any other guy out there, the raw reality is that I am not. Or ok, maybe I have a little advantage ☺.
But what I mean is this. At the end of the day, I am just a regular normal guy not any different from any other guy out there. What this means is that when I am not thinking much (which believe it or not happens quite often ☺, just ask some of my previous dates ☺) my intuitive reactions to dating and relationship situations are exactly the same as they would be with any other guy off the street.
So in other words, when I am responding to my date using only my intuitive reactions to guide me I very often mess up and make mistakes in my communication and interpret my partner incorrectly. But more about this concept on my future posts.
And with that off my chest ☺, let’s get to my advice.
Lets say you have gotten her to agree on a first date or maybe you two have met at Match.com and you agreed to meet over a cup of coffee or tea. Or maybe you knew her from your school or work and you took her to ice-skating. Whatever the case maybe you want to make sure you know how to impress her by giving her some compliments.
The best compliments to make on date to a woman are either direct ones complimenting her personally or indirect ones complimenting something she has put a lot of time and energy to.
In either case when making a compliment to a woman remember this: You always want to come from a sincere place and tell your compliments authentically with a very casual tone of voice. And if you really want to score big, always follow a compliment with a question.
For example, say you are on your first date and you have met over cup of coffee.
Here is what you do when you see her.
First observe her.
Find something you think she has put a lot of energy or that something that is unique to her that you like. Good ideas for a compliment are often things like her sunglasses, hat, perfume, scarf or earrings.
Women often put a lot of time and energy picking the right outfits and accessories and by you given her a compliment about the choices that she has made to wear that night you should definitely score you some points.
With a casual tone of voice as if you would ask someone simply to pass the butter on a dinner table, say to her something like: “I like your sun glasses, where did you get those?”
Of course you want to make sure that what you compliment is something you actually do like. Always make sure your compliments are sincere and honest.
By following your compliment with a short question allows her to really receive your compliment as she can explain in this case about either where she bought the sunglasses or how did she come to pick that particular pair.
This way you are already on your way to make her feel comfortable around you, as you have shown some genuine interest in her.
Remember, women love attention. This is why women spend countless of hours and dollars on their wardrobe, their hair, their make-up, etc. Make sure also to read more about the importance of listening and giving attention when dating on my other article about a big mistake many successful and confident guys make on a date or read my article about the best pick-up line to use.
But as the night goes on and you get to know her a little bit, what is much more powerful than complimenting about something she has put time and energy to is to give her a well delivered direct compliment.
The mistake we men often make in giving compliments to women is that we only give the type of compliments we would like to receive. Or sometimes much worse, we give inappropriate or sexual compliments.
Often instead of giving her direct compliments we simply compliment something about the night like the food, the atmosphere, the movie, the environment or explain how much fun we are having.
But here is how you make a well-delivered direct compliment, and if done well you should be scoring some major brownie points ☺.
Let’s say she is a dancer and she shows you one of her dance clips on YouTube from her iPhone and you after watching it you think she is really a great dancer.
Instead of giving her an indirect compliment and say: “Wow that was a amazing,” tell her: “Wow, you are an amazing dancer, where did you learn to dance like that?”
Or let’s say you later find out she is a fashion consultant and you like the way she has dressed that night, instead of giving her an indirect compliment like: “your dress looks really good”, compliment her directly and say something like: “You have a stunning sense of style, that dress looks really good on you”.
Or say she is an attorney, a doctor, or corporate CEO and you are having a very interesting and stimulating conversation. Tell her: “You are intelligent, did you learn all of that in law/medical/business school?”
You can always also further embellish any direct compliment with words like really, very, such, or really really, or very very.
So to further embellish the compliments above you can say something like:
“Wow, you are a really amazing dancer, where did you learn to dance like that?”
“Wow, you are such an amazing dancer, where did you learn to dance like that?”
“You have really really stunning sense of style”
“You are very intelligent, did you learn all of that in business school?”
The key again is to say these compliments with a very casual tone of voice. Just like you would say to your friend: It is really nice whether today isn’t?
Finally, other more obvious great compliments that work, especially if you two have a good chemistry, is to give some direct compliments about her looks.
Say you are holding her in your hands at the end of the night after using my tips ☺ and you have just kissed. Give her a compliment about something you find especially attractive about her. For example, if you like her hair, touch her hair softly or run your fingers through her hair as you look at her hair and say something like: “You have such a beautiful hair”, or if you like her eyes, say: “I love your blue eyes they look so beautiful, does your parents have blue eyes too?” or after you have ended a tasty kiss touch her face gently and say: “Mmmm.. your lips feel and taste so delicious, what flavor lipstick is that?”
The hardest part is to simply say the compliments in a right moment when you sincerely feel them in a nonchalant way so you don’t come off as corny or cheesy, but as someone who is real and authentic.
There you have it: A short intro to how to compliment a woman on a date. Share your thoughts or experiences. What have you tried and what has worked for you? Or if you are a woman share with us some other ways we guys could become better at complimenting. What is the best compliment you have ever received on a date?
